How To Say I Love You – Chapter 11



Xiao Jiashu once had a very good friend called He Yi. Their family backgrounds were equally-matched, they had the same interests, they grew up in the same neighbourhood, and went to the same school, and once made an oath that they would break through heaven and earth together (battle through hardships). However, when Xiao Jiashu was ten, he met some accident, and was sent overseas as a result while He Yi stayed in the country. But their relationship never drifted apart, and they remained just as close as ever. When Xiao Jiashu was sixteen, He Yi suddenly sent him a proud message, telling Xiao Jiashu that he held his birthday banquet at a hotel today, and by chance came across a girl being sexually harassed, and saved her. He took the girl back to his suite room to wash up, change clothes and also sent her back home.

That message was the beginning of the entire nightmare. Very soon, He Yi discovered that the girl went to the same school as him, and because she was beautiful and had a good temper, she was always being bullied by men. The female student was grateful that he saved her, and made a lunchbox for him every day and stuck it in his desk. Gradually, classmates started spreading rumours about the two’s relationship. He Yi didn’t care about those rumours. He was an extremely devoted, firm and persistent person, and was never the type to let himself be affected by other people. However, he never would have imagined, that forty days after saving that female student, he would be taken away by the police in class for the charge of rape, and the foetus in the girl’s stomach was evidence.

He had done no shameful deed, so naturally he didn’t admit to the crime. However, his father decided to settle it out of court, and also gave that female student one million yuan for psychological damage. Even though He Yi didn’t serve in prison, it was determined that he was guilty of the charge. Resentful that he had brought disgrace to them, his family quickly sent him to America, and following that was that bitter car crash…

Henceforth, his friend who he had just been reunited with for a few days parted from him forever, how could Xiao Jiashu possibly accept it? He remembered himself running like mad to scene of the accident, crazily hugging his friend’s corpse, crying his heart out. He never believed that groundless accusation. He knew that his close friend must have been framed.

The truth proved that his conjecture was correct. He discovered that his friend had been on the phone with someone before the car crash happened, and the call had been recorded. A female voice that carried a metallic texture sneered, “He Yi, who told you to save me? At that time, I wasn’t being taken advantage of at all. We had drunk a lot and were playing around! I would have had such a great time that night if not for you… I didn’t know who the father of the child in my tummy was, I gave those bastards a call, none of them were willing to admit it was theirs. My parents said that I had to say it out or they’ll kill me, what other option did I have… Out of the people I knew you were the stupidest, and also the richest, if I didn’t choose you, who else could I have chosen? That surveillance camera video of you helping me to your room was the best evidence… You hate me? Hahahaha, still not willing to admit that you’re stupid?! Your mum was adamant that I kept the foetus until four months in order to do a DNA test later, to prove your innocence. It was your dad who convinced your mum to let me have an abortion, and he even gave one million to get my entire family to move and make sure your mum can’t find us… He knew that you didn’t rape me, but he wanted you to completely fall from grace… Even your own father wants to ruin you, and you’re still running to curse me that I’m the main cause of everything, He Yi, you are truly pitiful…”

The conversation ended here, and then there was a earth-shattering collision sound. He Yi was unable to handle the shock, and in the lapse of attention, accidentally pressed the accelerator pedal, violently crashing into a bridge pillar… After a lot of difficulty, he had finally found a way to contact Li Jiaer. At first he had wanted to instigate her into telling the truth and record it, and then give it to his father who was greatly disappointed in him, but it actually turned out that his father knew all along that he was innocent…

Xiao Jiashu made a copy of the sound recording. He listened to it all night without sleep and rest; his tears had nearly completely dried out. He couldn’t understand why some people could be so bad, to be able frame a good person who once saved them, or go as far to even devastate their own flesh and blood.

When He Yi’s family members came to America to handle his funeral arrangements, he secretly sent the recording to He Yi’s mum, originally thinking that by doing that it would be able to clear his friend’s name and allow him to die contentedly. How could he predicted that He Yi’s mum would actually have a heart attack, and lose consciousness? Before He Yi’s mum had even woken up, she was sent to a convalesce institution, apparently because she had developed depression. He Yi’s mum disappeared after that, only leaving behind He Yi’s lonely grave on foreign soil, not even being able to shift and return him back home to his ancestral land.

A few years passed, and through Xiao Jiashu’s mother’s connections, he finally learnt that He Yi’s dad had immigrated to Australia. He had already had a wife there for a long time, and his second son was younger than He Yi by only a few months…

The more Xiao Jiashu found out, the more unresigned he felt. For these past few years he had always wanted to find Li Jiaer, and make her pay the price for what she did. Seeing her use the status of a victim to win people’s sympathy, seeing her fashion herself into a strong, optimistic, new age woman who actively wants to improve herself, he felt extremely disgusted and extremely furious.

However, his upbringing didn’t allow him to use drastic measures to take revenge on a woman so he simply obstructed Li Jiaer’s future prospects, and didn’t make any further move. At the same time, he didn’t want to dredge out that unbearable past event to light, and make his friend suffer from outsiders’ criticism. His friend had lived with a clear conscience when he was alive, and should receive eternal tranquillity after death.

This was the end of the matter… It ends here… Only after that rock’n’roll finally ended, and changed to leisurely beat, did Xiao Jiashu manage to suppress that heart packed with rage and slowly stand up. But right after he took one step, a male singer’s exhausted voice started to sing, the lyrics were beaten and sorrowful, and instantly stirred up a lot of memories, some good, and some bad, but the bad gradually faded, only leaving behind the good, forever treasured and stored in his heart. Two little boys walking to school holding hands; hiding up in a high and big tree, taking turns freely envisioning their future; every day the taller boy would always ride the shorter one back home on his bike, and when they accidentally fell, the taller would hold the smaller boy in his arms, lightly stroking the black hair at the back of his head… They weren’t brothers but were more than brothers.

The male singer continued to slowly sing. Xiao Jiashu however, couldn’t even stand up. He shrank into the corner of the wall, buried his head between his knees, and cried like a child, unable to stop…

Fang Kun noticed that Ji Mian had been wrinkling his brows the entire time, and his complexion was not good. He couldn’t help but ask, “Do you have a headache? Should I call a doctor over to have a look?”

“No, no, I don’t.” Ji Mian waved his hand in disagreement.

Another ten minutes passed, and Ji Mian started to repeatedly knead his temples. Finally at the end of his patience, he said, “Go to the stairs to have a look, I think I heard…” However, he stopped in the mid-sentence, and then he leaned his head on top of his pillow, and let out an undetectable sigh of relief.

“What did you hear?” Fang Kun looked around all fours, and asked with confusion, “The hospital room is really quiet, you wouldn’t have tinnitus, would you?”

“I must have had tinnitus, but I’m all fine now.” Ji Mian tiredly waved his hand. It was unknown what came across his mind, but his expression suddenly turned very ugly.

At the exact same time, Xiu Changyu who had rushed over a little later, pushed open the staircase doors. He said with shock, “It really is you Xiao Shu. Why are you crying like this?”

“Un-Uncle Xiu, hiccup…” Xiao Jiashu didn’t want to keep crying but he couldn’t control himself. He spoke while hiccupping, a face of tears and snot.

Xiu Changyu jumped with fright, and immediately fished out a handkerchief to wipe his face. He asked quietly, “What on earth happened? Tell Uncle Xiu, and Uncle Xiu can help you solve it.”

“No-Nothing, I was just listening to a song and it made me cry.” Xiao Jiashu immediately pulled out the earphones from his ears, and carelessly wiped his face. Right now, he was in a disgraceful state and embarrassed; he wanted nothing more than to dig a hole and squeeze into it.

“What song can move a person to the point of tears?” Xiu Changyu didn’t quite believe it at first, and picked up an earphone to listen. He couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s this song, no wonder.” As one of the people who had also once cried because of this song, Xiu Changyu really couldn’t say anything, and could only take the miserable boy into the restroom to fix his face up.

“You’re already so old, but you’re still hiding on the stairs to cry. You should be glad that it was me who saw you, anyone else would have definitely laughed at you to death. Oh, Xiao Shu, you’re just like your mum when she was young. Whenever your mum encountered difficulties, on the surface she would always look strong and calm, but would hide and cry behind your back again and again. Sometimes it’d be on the roof, sometimes in the car, even when I discover her, she’d still rather die than admit it…” Thinking about the past, Xiu Changyu started to quietly laugh, but the depths of his eyes was full of sadness.

“My mum liked crying too?” Xiao Jiashu froze, and then quickly corrected himself, “Wait that’s wrong, why on earth did I add the word ‘too’, I so don’t like to cry, today is a special circumstance.”

“Alright, you don’t like crying. You’re truly like your mum, both especially reluctant to admit a mistake.” Xiu Changyu was unable to restrain a smile.

Xiao Jiashu: “…”

Xiao Jiashu finished washing his face, but his eyes were still a bit red and swollen. He had no choice but to fish out a pair of sunglasses and put it on, before following Xiu Changyu to visit Ji Mian. There were several visitors in the hospital room, all were film emperors, or big shots from the film industry. They were speaking to each other and the atmosphere was harmonious and happy. When they saw Xiu Changyu, they immediately stood up to greet him, their attitudes very cordial. Xiao Jiashu’s throat was hoarse from crying, and he was also in a very downcast mood, so he didn’t want to speak, and wanted to socialise even less. He walked to the bedside and silently nodded at Ji Mian.

“You’re here, sit down.” Ji Mian looked at him steadily.

“Hm.” Xiao Jiashu said down near the hospital bed, opened up KuGou (music streaming and download service), and replayed the song that was listening to just before. This was practically a self-torturing act, causing him to be both in pain and regretful, but he had no way of stopping it. If not for his lack of judgement, selfishly sending the recording to He Yi’s mum, she wouldn’t have fallen apart. He controlled his facial expression, but inside he was crying like a child. There were some things that you truly can never forget, and also must not forget…

Ji Mian lightly kneaded his own temples, and using an unprecedentedly gentle voice, he asked, “Do you want to eat an apple? Should I help peel one for you?”

Xiao Jiashu looked at him through his sunglasses, and then waved his hand. The lower half of his face which was stiff like a stone made him look cool and arrogant, infuriating as hell. Fang Kun cursed him in his head, ‘Dead Brat’.

Ji Mian seemed to not understand his refusal, and still peeled an apple and passed it over. Xiao Jiashu had no choice but to accept it. As he earnestly chewed the apple one mouthful a time, the sorrow in his heart unexpectedly lessened unconsciously. He switched off KuGou, and removed his earphones. He threw the apple stem into the bin, sat back onto his seat, and continued to look at Ji Mian through his sunglasses. This person didn’t seem to have been injured too badly, only a concussion, which was good to hear.

“What are you doing these days? If you have nothing to do, then how about returning to the company? I didn’t think it over properly when I fired you last time, I want to apologise to you.” Ji Mian said after a moment of silence.

Why does he want to apologise to me? It was me who interfered in the operations of the studio, so I should be the one to apologise. Your being blind and not knowing how to judge people is a problem with your IQ, nothing to do with right or wrong. Xiao Jiashu thought, and hence shook his head to refuse.

Ji Mian: “…”




  1. Ji Mian heard Xiao Jiashu’s thoughts! This is getting interesting!!!

    That Li Jiaer is evil!!!!! EVIL!! How can she ruin someone’s life like that…

    I’m so excited! Can’t wait for more! Thank you for all the novel translations! I’ve enjoyed each one..

    Liked by 4 people

  2. ah!!! thank you thank you so so much for the triple update!! I’ve been down a couple of days so seeing this update really made my week!

    also I’m so happy the story is finally progressing to Ji Mian listening to Xiao Jiashu, I was so curious what did Li Jiaer did and it made me so mad reading what happened also no joke I’ve cried reading his and He Yi’s story ToT

    I seriously can’t wait for the next chapter!! thank you so so much for translating this novel!

    Liked by 4 people

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